Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
