i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Randomize
