Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
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