sarcasm needs its own font
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
