i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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