I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize
