the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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