Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
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