whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
