Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
