all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
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