Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Randomize
