She announced her abortion via fbk
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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