i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
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