I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
I feel great
I just peed on a car
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
