Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
