So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Randomize
