no, he came in my armpit
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
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