dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
