There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
