Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Randomize
