why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
