I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Randomize
