he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
