I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
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