Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
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