hell yes lets make some ravioli
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Randomize
