Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Randomize
