My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
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