I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Randomize
