We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
