they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
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