he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
Randomize
