we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Randomize
