I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
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