Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
