Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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