i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
