the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
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