Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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