That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
