definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
