There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
