I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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