windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
My bed smells like the plague
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
