Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Randomize
