That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
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