The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
