Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Randomize
