you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Randomize
