I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Randomize
