the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
i already hear my dad disowning me
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Randomize