Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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