At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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